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Is Self-Help Helpful?

Many years ago, I embarked on a self-help journey. Why did I do this?


Because at the time - I just wasn’t happy. I felt generally kind of un-well, had no direction, and just sort of felt lost. It seems liked everyone around me was leading exciting full lives and I just didn’t feel the happiness that others seemed to have. In fact in hindsight, I would say I was mildly depressed. So I figured there must be something wrong with me.


I went to the Doctors to get a full physical examination, thinking there might be something physically wrong with me. But apparently I was healthy as a horse. I was almost disappointed. If there was something physically wrong with me, then maybe we could fix it. But I still didn’t know what was wrong with me and why I was unhappy and feeling stuck in life.


So my quest began. I learned about energy healing. I spent thousands in extensive energy healing classes and even became a Reiki Master. But ultimately I still didn’t feel better. So I learned about Eden Energy Healing with Donna Eden. But I found that had too many steps involved and I just didn’t have the energy to do them. Reiki seems much easier to me. Then I learned Theta Healing, I enjoyed it much more and became and Advance Theta Practitioner, but again, a lot of money went out for this training.


But ultimately I still didn’t feel better. How can I help heal others, when I can’t even heal myself? So I stopped practicing any of the energy healing methods I had learned.


In the meantime I had taken a course and became a Certified Life Coach. I thought it would be awesome if I could start a business working from home and then I could stay home with my young children. But the training left me a little baffled as to what a Life Coach really does. Even though I finished the course and wrote my exam and passed. I was considered a Certified Life Coach, but I didn’t feel like I really know how to Coach, so I had put it on the back-burner.


Then I came across the Law of Attraction. This seemed to be my answer to all my prayers. Think about good things and raise my vibration and all good things will come to me. Act as if you already have. So I thought this was great! I can think fine, it doesn’t take a tremendous amount of energy that I just didn’t have. I even took training as a Law of Attraction Coach, which cost me several thousand dollars.


I took to heart; act as if you already have. I went back to my Life Coach Training and decided to pursue this again. I took another Life Coach Training and was told that I indeed did know how to Coach, I just didn’t have confidence yet because of lack of experience. Also that I wasn’t clear on my niche market of who exactly I wanted to help. So I spent thousands of dollars that I didn’t have (because you need to put money out there to get money back – according to the law of attraction) on Marketing Coaches, on Coaches to help me get my niche just right. I spend thousands on more Life Coach Trainings that focused on in-class practice so I would have the experience in Coaching, even if I didn’t have paying clients.


I took classes on meditation, yoga, psychic training, you name it I tried it.


I was tens of thousands of dollars in dept. I was still unhappy, and even more mildly depressed and I now had financial troubles due to all the money I spent trying to feel better.

The bottom line was self-help was not helping me.


Then I took one of the last trainings I spent a significant sum of money on. It was training through The Life Coach School. I actually became a Certified Weight Coach. (Because I thought maybe the reason for my unhappiness was my weight). This training was very different. The instructor had a very different way of teaching you how to be a Life Coach or Weight Loss Coach. Even though I took training and become a Certified Weight Coach, it was as good as taking Life Coach Training. I learned that weight issues aren’t all about what you should eat, it was about your thinking about what you should eat.


This seemed a bit bizarre to me in the beginning. If it is about my thinking, isn’t that the Law of Attraction? I had already tried that and failed miserably.


Years have now passed since I took my training at The Life Coach School and I have since got my Diploma (with distinction) in Counselling. What I now know is, happiness comes from your thoughts. Not like Law of Attraction think goods things and all your desires will come to you. But your thoughts are your motivation. And most importantly you get to choose your thoughts.


Let’s look at an example. Your friend gets mad and yells at you.


We automatically have a thought about that situation. In most cases the automatic thought is; “What the heck is her problem and why is she being such a bitch to me.” So we feel hurt resentful and mad at the friend.


But what if we chose to think instead; “Poor girl, she had a bad day at work and just needs to vent.” We might feel compassion towards the friend rather than being mad back at her.


It’s little thought changes like this every day, which helps a person feel happier in their life. This form of Life Coaching is true Self Help. There is nothing mystical or magical about it. It is just your thoughts, which you can choose to change, if you want to.


This is why I now feel happier in my life, even though I’m not rich. Still working at getting out of the debt I incurred over the years. I’m still with the same husband. I still have to work for a living and haven’t won the lottery. I’m getting older and have more aches and pains. I’ve left a job I hate and had to go through three other jobs that I hated even more before I got one that I like. So I have had ups and downs. But I’m still happier. Nothing great has happened to make my life terrific, in fact my life is much more stressful and worse than when I started on my self-help journey – but I’m happier.


I’m happier because I choose my thoughts. I’m happier because I have decided to be so. You can be happier too. Become your own Life Coach, I can teach you how. I can teach you how, you too can learn to change your thoughts and be happier in your life - even if your life remains the same. But chances are once you change your thoughts, your life will change too – for the better!



Self Help

By Adriana Ellis. Adriana is a Certified Life Coach, Certified Weight Loss Coach, as well as an Instructor. Adriana teaches her clients how to change their thinking and habits to help them feel better and get the results that they want.

www.comeongethappy.ca

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Contact

Adriana Ellis

Edmonton, Alberta

Canada

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Tel: 780-934-1576​

ellis-institute@outlook.com

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