Updated: Jul 14, 2018
Imagine - You really want to accomplish something, like stick to your diet, or make a good impression on your first date so that you can finally be in a long term relationship. But you consistently cheat on your diet, and instead of being witty on your dates you sound like a moron and rarely get to a second date. The worst part is you want soooo badly to lose the weight. You want sooo badly to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, get married and have a family. But self sabotage is your constant friend and keeps you from living the life you want to.
Why is that???
Well let me tell you a little bit about your mind. You have two parts to your mind, the unconscious mind and the conscious mind. The problem is the two parts of your mind are not operating with the same manual. Your conscious mind is the part of your brain that you use when you decide you want something, or want to do something. Your subconscious mind is the part of your brain that attempts to keep you safe, at all costs. This is the part of your mind that kicks in and makes you feel nervous or fearful when you are walking down a dark alley at night. This is the part of your mind that alerts you when you are driving to work and you remember that you forgot to unplug your curling iron, so you better turn around and go unplug it before it burns the house down.
Your subconscious mind is always nagging you in the back ground saying, “Be careful”, “Don’t do that”, “That is dangerous”, “Remember what happened last time, we don’t want to do that again”.
Yes your subconscious mind nags you, just like your mother. “Remember to wear your raincoat.”, “Remember how your last boyfriend cheated on you – don’t let that happen to you again.”, “Come on have a piece of cake, you love chocolate cake, it will make you feel better.”
Your subconscious mind’s job is to keep you alive, safe and happy. Now you may say to yourself, well that is pretty darn good, I want to be kept alive, safe and happy! My subconscious mind is a great thing! But here is the problem and where it gets sticky. Your conscious mind doesn’t always view the things that will make you happy, as the same your subconscious mind thinks are going to keep you alive, safe and happy.
For example, your conscious mind thinks, I need to lose weight and eat healthier. But your subconscious mind thinks: OMG, you are starving us… we are going to die of starvation!!! You need to eat, eat I say, so we don’t starve. (See, keeping you alive). In fact you better eat some cake too because it will make you feel better (keeping you happy). Or your conscious mind plans on meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right, but every time you meet someone you become tongue tied and it gets worse every single time. It is because of your subconscious mind nagging at you… “don’t mess it up this time… remember how you stuttered last time, and you embarrassed yourself, whatever you do, don’t do that again (trying to make you happy). But you feel so much pressure from your nagging subconscious mind that you end up cracking under the pressure and blow it again. Then your subconscious mind nags at you again… “See you blew it yet again!!!”
Just let me clarify though, it is not your subconscious mind intent not to make you feel bad. Its intent is to remind you, so you don’t make that mistake again.
If you keep in your thoughts, that your subconscious mind’s purpose is strictly to try and keep you alive, safe and happy, no matter how misguided the methods seem to be, then it is possible for you to understand why you sometimes do the things you do. One other thing to keep in mind - if your conscious mind and unconscious mind do not agree on what is best for you… your subconscious mind will always win out.
By Adriana Ellis. Adriana is a Certified Life Coach, Certified Weight Loss Coach. Certified Holistic Nutrition Coach, Certified Food Addictions Coach, Law of Attraction Coach and has her Diploma (with distinction) in Counselling. Adriana teaches her clients how to change their thinking and habits to help them feel better and get the results that they want.